Sunday, June 29, 2025
Mary DeChellis was born in Lackawanna, on January 10th, 1952. Nine days before my father, who was born on the other side of the world in Italy. She was a first generation American born to Luigi and Florenza. As the child of immigrant parents that lived through the depression, World War 1, and fought in world war 2, she carried the lessons of her upbringing with her for her entire life. When I sat down to write this, I wanted to tell all the things that made her special. I wanted to write a eulogy that told her story. But who she was, was more than the neighborhood she grew up in or the jobs she had. There was a light that my mother had. She had an uncanny goodness, that shined on everyone around her. When she encountered someone in need, she was there to help. It didn’t matter what the situation was, she had this optimistic view of people. Like all people needed was someone to believe in them, and they’d be better in the end. Every person sitting in this room is sitting here because you know that. She had a way of making people feel special their feelings were the most important thing. She cared so much about people that after spending time with her, you felt better about whatever was going on.
She grew up in South Buffalo on South Park Ave. and went to Holy Family Grammar school and Mount Mercy academy High school. The alphabetical seating chart played a crucial role in creating the life long friendship of Mary DeChellis and Janice Daminski. Janice has always been like a second mom. She’s Janeen’s confirmation sponsor. Her sons are like my brothers. Her granddaughters and my children are like family. I don’t have time to explain how complex and amazing their friendship was. If there is a friendship version of soul mates, that’s what they have.
After high school, my mom went to work at Park Edge Grocery store, where my dad also worked. My dad had been in the US for 7 months when they met. My mom wanted to ask him to her senior prom, but her parents did not approve. So, she went with Janice. Luckily for me and Janeen, things worked out and my parents got married. This Saturday would have been their 50th wedding anniversary.
How do you encapsulate 73 years? There are so many amazing stories that there isn’t time to recount, or put in any kind of covent order. Janeen told me to do the ‘greatest hits.’ So, here we go.
When she was little, her family didn’t have much. She had a doll. Her great grampa bought it for her, and she treasured it. Its name was “tiny tears.”
She could sew. And she knew how meaningful it was to make things. She sewed from scratch, janeen’s communion dress, Her flower girl dress for aunt Rita’s wedding, her 8th grade grad dress, and her homecoming dress. She turned the communion dress into Alana’s flower girl dress for Janeen’s wedding.
She had a pet chicken. It makes me smile to picture her, as a 5 year old, walking it on a leash through south buffalo.
She loved Mo-town. And the Beatles. The early stuff.
She could name that tune…. In 2 notes.
She loved jeopardy. Every time someone got a daily double, she would do ‘double guns.’ And every time, is was as funny as if she just came up with it.
If you could make her laugh, that smile would carry you through.
One spring, I crashed my bike, and with a bottle of alcohol and a pair of tweezers, she spent an hour, taking every tiny pebble out of my scraped up face.
Recipes were more ‘inspiration’ rather than ‘instructions’
If I could make her smile, I knew it was a good joke.
She ran the house, and the business, and it was always seamless.
This has been our family church since I was in first grade. We had our communions, confirmations, Janeen and I both had our wedding’s here. If you look around at the bows on the ends of the pews. My mom made them. They have made the rounds. In addition to helping plan and host showers, and events for everyone’s weddings, she was there with the pew bows. I think all of janeen’s friends had them. She let a stranger borrow them, when she found out they were getting married here. They were special. She was special.
Those bows were emblematic of who she was. Simple devotion to doing good for others. Last night, the thing that I heard over and over, was the effect she had on people to make them feel the best in themselves. I have had a saying, that I tell the kids I coach. And it wasn’t until I wrote this that I realized, the sentiment comes from the way my mom embodied grace, love, and hope. I will leave you with these words, which I will continue to say, in her honor…
If you believe in you, the way I believe in you, then you’ll be unstoppable.
