Obituary of Raymond J. Cooley

In Loving Memory of Raymond J. Cooley April 16, 1942 – July 8, 2025 Raymond J. Cooley — beloved husband, father, papa, brother, uncle, godfather, friend, educator, and mentor—passed away peacefully on July 8, 2025, surrounded by his wife, children, grandchildren, brothers, nieces, and nephews. He was 83. Ray was born on April 16, 1942, at Buffalo Mercy Hospital, the third son of William and Loretta Cooley. He grew up on Lorraine Avenue along side his brothers Joe, Jim, and David in a close-knit neighborhood in South Buffalo. The four Cooley boys made the most of childhood—riding bikes, swimming, and heading over the border to Crystal Beach whenever they could. He attended Thomas Aquinas Elementary School and graduated from Bishop Timon High School in 1960. Ray often said his love of dancing began at Timon, where he proudly claimed to be one of the most popular jitterbug partners on the floor. His lifelong love of dancing was something he carried with him through every season of life—whether twirling Grammy at weddings, showing off at family parties, or dancing in the kitchen just to make someone smile. Ray went on to study elementary education at Buffalo State College. After a brief but unforgettable day working on a garbage truck, he quickly realized that teaching was his true calling and doubled down on his studies, graduating in just three years. By age 29, Ray had earned multiple advanced degrees and was named principal of School 56. He went on to serve as principal at School 29 and eventually Southside Elementary, where he helped secure a prestigious National Science Foundation grant. Across 34 years in the Buffalo Public Schools, Ray served as a teacher and leader who left a lasting impact on tens of thousands of students. Ray was known for his integrity, compassion, and quiet strength. Rooted in steady faith, he believed growth mattered more than perfection, and that everyone deserves the chance to begin again. He often reminded us that mistakes are part of life—but what matters is how we respond: with honesty, humility, courage, and a willingness to grow. Ray showed up when people needed him most, not with grand gestures, but with presence, patience, and unwavering belief in their potential. More than anything, he will be remembered for the way he made others feel: supported, seen, and deeply loved. Ray met Jeanne—the love of his life—at an education conference. Though their paths crossed professionally, it wasn’t until they bumped into each other again at Cole’s that something clicked. They fell in love quickly. Ray, ever the cautious romantic, was so nervous when he proposed that even after Jeanne said yes, he asked her to wear gloves at a family gathering to hide the engagement ring. But once they both knew it was meant to be, they didn’t waste any time, getting married just three weeks later. They settled in West Seneca and began building the life Ray cherished most: their family. Jeanine, Patrick, Mary, and Ray arrived in short order, and Ray threw himself into fatherhood with the same dedication he gave to his work. The Cooley household was filled with love, structure, laughter, and a healthy dose of hustle—especially on weekends spent at ice rinks, amusement parks, and family parties. Ray had a deep love for all his nieces and nephews and made time for every one of them. A man of steady and deeply rooted faith, Ray was a longtime parishioner at Queen of Heaven Church. He served as a Eucharistic minister, a Pre-Cana facilitator, and a proud member of the Knights of St. John. His faith was the foundation of his life, and he lived it not only in words but in constant acts of quiet service. After retiring in 1997, Ray remained deeply engaged with education and community life. He served on the board at Bishop Timon and was always a trusted listener and confidant for family, friends, and former colleagues. He offered advice not with grand speeches, but with quiet presence and thoughtful questions. People left conversations with Ray feeling seen, understood, and just a little more certain of their next step. In his later years, Ray’s focus shifted entirely to family. He and Jeanne made countless trips to Vermont, New Jersey, and all across Western New York to watch their 12 grandchildren grow. Whether it was a hockey game, a school play, or a graduation, Papa was there—cheering, listening, and gently reminding them to be kind to others and to themselves. His grandchildren will never forget his sayings, his passion for a morning or afternoon donut, his rituals, his one-of-a-kind fashion sense (including a great hat for every occasion), and most of all, his unconditional love. Raymond J. Cooley was the kind of person who built a life full of purpose, service, passion, family, and faith. He leaves behind a legacy of love and learning that lives on in the lives of his wife, Jeanne; his children, Jeanine, Patrick, Mary, and Ray; his grandchildren: Madelyn, Natalie, TJ, Loretta, Patrick, Elizabeth, Erin, Kate, Sean, Anna, Claire, and Nina; his brothers, Joe and Dave; his extended family; and the countless students, colleagues, and friends who were lucky enough to know him. We will carry his lessons with us always. And when we hear a bit of wisdom in our heads, or find ourselves dancing just for the joy of it—we’ll know Ray’s still with us. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that contributions be made to the Dr. Barbara Friedes Memorial Fund at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Friedes, a beloved colleague of Ray’s eldest daughter Jeanine, was a brilliant and compassionate pediatrician whose legacy—like Ray’s—is one of kindness, generosity, and dedication to others. In honor of the values that both Ray and Barbara held so dear, gifts to this fund will support families of children with cancer and promote initiatives that inspire a lifelong love of reading among children. Donations may be made online at: https://chop.donordrive.com/campaigns/In-Memory-of-Barbara-Friedes Passed away on July 8, 2025, beloved husband of Jeanne (Bubar) Cooley, dear father of Dr. Jeanine (Tim) Ronan, Dr. Patrick (Susan) Cooley, Mary (Christopher) Sullivan and Dr. Raymond (Laura) Cooley, loving papa of Madelyn, Natalie and Timothy Jr. “TJ” Ronan, Loretta, Patrick Jr., Elizabeth and Susanna Cooley, Erin and Sean Sullivan, Katelyn, Claire and Nina Cooley, son of the late William J. and Loretta (Cowley) Cooley, brother of Joseph (late Maureen) Cooley, David (late Donna) Cooley and the late James P. Cooley; also survived by many nieces, nephews, cousins and friends. Family and friends may call Saturday and Sunday from 3-6:00 PM at the JAMES W. CANNAN FUNERAL HOME, INC., 3155 Orchard Park Road in Orchard Park (716) 675-9027. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held Monday July 14th at 12:30 PM at Queen of Heaven Church, please assemble at church. The burial will follow the Mass at Holy Cross Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that contributions be made to the Dr. Barbara Friedes Memorial Fund at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Friedes, a beloved colleague of Ray’s oldest daughter Jeanine, was a brilliant and compassionate pediatrician whose legacy—like Ray’s—is one of kindness, generosity, and dedication to others. In honor of the values that both Ray and Barbara held so dear, gifts to this fund will support families of children with cancer and promote initiatives that inspire a lifelong love of reading among children. Donations can be made at https://chop.donordrive.com/campaigns/In-Memory-of-Barbara-Friedes